It's Only Love Read online

  It’s Only Love

  By Roy Glenn

  © Copyright Roy Glenn 2014

  Smashwords Editions

  Escapism Entertainment, LLC

  Atlantic Beach, Florida

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without prior consent of the publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.

  This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual events, real people, living or dead, or to real locales are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places, and incidents is entirely coincidental.

  Chapter One

  My name is Victor

  It was Saturday afternoon and my brother, Stevie and I were in the room that we used to share when we were kids. We were there getting ready to go to our cousin Paul’s wedding. After five, sometimes volatile years together, he was marrying Vanessa. I was his best man and Stevie, as well as two of our cousins were groomsmen. I was dressed and ready, relaxing on my old bed while he was in the mirror putting on his bow tie.

  “Look at my two men,” my sister Rhonda said when she walked in the room.

  It was the first time that the three of us have been together in—wow—almost three years. I got up from the bed before she told me to.

  “You both look so handsome,” she said smiling and looking at the both of us in our charcoal grey suits.

  “And you look beautiful,” I said as she walked up to Stevie.

  “I can do that, Rhonda,” Stevie said as she adjusted his bow tie.

  “I know,” she said, but she didn’t stop until the tie was just right.

  Rhonda couldn’t help herself; she’s been taking care of my brother and me since I can remember.

  “I’m just so happy to see you two; for all of us to be together. Even if it’s just for the day,” she said and cut her eyes at Stevie. “Since one of us has to leave tomorrow. But it’s so good to see you two.” Rhonda held out her arms and we shared what we called our circle.

  “All we got is each other,” she said softly the way she used to.

  “That’s all we ever needed,” Stevie said.

  I never knew my father and I was five years old when my mother met a man and she moved away to DC. After that, Rhonda pretty much raised us.

  “I can’t believe you kids still do that,” our Uncle Don said coming in the door, interrupting our moment. We broke our circle. “You know I always wondered what you were saying to each other.”

  “Some things you were meant to wonder about,” Rhonda said and kissed him on the cheek.

  “We haven’t told you in all these years, no reason to believe that we’d tell you now,” I said as I followed Rhonda past him and out of the room.

  Uncle Don shook his head. “You got something smart to say too?”

  “No, sir. There’s nothing else to be said,” I heard Stevie say.

  The three of us rode together to the church. On the way there, we talked a little about Uncle Don. Him and our Aunt Michelle have three children; Paul, who’s getting married today, and his sisters, Maggie and Angie.

  “Uncle Don is a good father,” Stevie commented. “Not only to his kids, but to us too.

  “I’m sure both of you will be great fathers one day,” Rhonda said.

  “Not me. I don’t want any kids,” I laughed. “I’m not even interested in getting married.” Understanding that one wasn’t necessary to do the other.

  “You gotta have a baby to be a father,” Stevie said. He is an FBI field agent or at least he was until he recently took a desk job. His wife, Sharon, said that him being in the field so much was putting a strain on their marriage, so he made the change.

  “Now that you’ve given up working in the field I’m sure that you and Sharon will have a baby soon,” Rhonda said. “I need some nieces and nephews.”

  “No, we won’t be having a baby.”

  “Why you say that?” I asked.

  Stevie took a deep breath. “I might as well tell you.”

  “It’s about time,” Rhonda said. We both noticed that he’d been acting kinda funny since he got here this morning. “Tell us the truth. Save me the trouble of asking.”

  “Sharon and I are divorced.”

  “What?” I asked. “But you just gave up field work for her. I thought that was the point?”

  “I did too,” Stevie said and looked out the window.

  “I was right, wasn’t I,” Rhonda said and I wondered what she was talking about. She moved closer and put her arm around Stevie. “She was cheating on you the whole time.”

  “Yeah.” He turned and faced her. “She was.”

  “I’m sorry, Stevie,” Rhonda said.

  “Me, too, Stevie. I’m sorry to hear that. Damn, that’s fucked up.”

  “It’s all right.” He kissed Rhonda on the cheek. “All we really got is each other.”

  “That’s all we ever needed,” I said and it reminded me once again that the only people that would never let any of us down were all in that limo.

  And that was sad, but true.

  The wedding went off, well, as well as a wedding can go. Vanessa made a beautiful bride in her simple white dress with elegant lace train and Paul looked pretty cool in tails. Paul and Vanessa decided they would make a few changes in the conventional church wedding ceremony.

  Paul came down the aisle flanked on either side by Uncle Don and Aunt Michelle. And Vanessa did the same with her parents. They wanted to be—as they put it: presented—by both of their parents; which made perfect sense to me. Well, as much sense as a wedding can make.

  Don’t get me wrong; I’m not anti-marriage. I’m sure when the right two people get together it can work. My grandfather loved my grandmother until the day God called her home. So I know that it can work. I’ve just never seemed to find the right one for me. And believe me, I have tried— though unsuccessfully—to find the one, but each relationship ended with me still looking for what I am now starting to think doesn’t exist.

  Not the perfect woman; just perfect for me. And me being perfect for her would be great too.

  My grandfather told me once that loving a woman is hurt and disappointment. When he told me, I was too young to know what he was talking about. But it stuck with me. Maybe because it’s turned out to be true. Honestly, the only women I’ve ever known that didn’t disappoint me was my grandmother and Rhonda; the best sister in the world. She’s always been there for me. She was there to fight for me when I couldn’t fight for myself. And she was always there to hold me when I used to cry.

  It’s okay, Victor. Don’t cry. She didn’t mean it.

  Once the ceremony was over, we were all rushed into another room to take pictures. When the last picture was snapped, we headed for the reception that was being held at The River Club. Vanessa chose the venue because of the exquisite view of downtown and the St. Johns River.

  We were sitting at the bridal table and I was congratulating Paul and his new wife Vanessa, when she asked me when I was going to find a woman and get married.

  “When I find the right one,” I said and hoped that Paul, since he knows how I feel about getting married, would help me out and change the subject.

  “You just need to find the right type of woman,” Paul said and kissed his wife.

  “I don’t have a type.”

  “Yes you do,” Vanessa insisted and picked up her champagne glass.

  “Okay, what’s my type?”

  “You’re type is that you don’t have a type. What you have, Victor is a style.” Vanessa paused. “And before you say it, there is a difference.”

  “Okay, what’s my style?”

  “You like personalities. Not any particular type of personality,
they just have to have one. You like a—how should I say this—” Vanessa paused. “—you like a very feminine, very lady like woman. Like every other man in your family, you’re a gentleman, so you know how to treat a lady.”

  “Anything wrong with that?” I asked.

  “Worked for me,” Paul said and it required a fist bump.

  “Not at all.” Vanessa leaned close and kissed Paul on the cheek. “And it is still working for you. But because you’re a gentleman, Victor, you like a woman who knows how to appreciate it.”

  “So far, I can’t argue with you.”

  “Because it’s pointless to try,” Paul said, and his new bride took a playful swing at him, but he was right. Vanessa is a force to be reckoned with when she wants to be.

  “And you like your very feminine, very ladylike women to be attractive,” Vanessa said; and then she laughed. “But it’s not a disqualifier.”

  “I’m glad you said that.” Paul drained his champagne glass. “’Cause you’ve had some very feminine, very ladylike—bats,” he said and laughed.

  “They all had personality though, Paul,” she said quickly. Then she tried to stop laughing. “Seriously though, you’re a nice guy, Victor. You just never let anybody get close enough to you to find out.”

  “And those are the ones he likes best,” Paul added.

  “Who’s that?”

  “The ones that don’t try to get to know him. They have—” He looked at Vanessa. “How should I say this?” Paul paused. “They seem to find other purposes for him.”

  “Whatever,” I said, more to end the conversation. And that’s when I saw her.

  I watched in wide-eyed wonder as she crossed the floor on the way to her table. The way she seemed to glide effortlessly across the floor when she walked. Poise, elegance, grace; she was absolutely phenomenal.

  “Who is that?”

  “That is Natasha Edwards. And that, cuz, is her man she just sat down next to,” Paul said, putting his arm around me.

  “Whose guest is she?” I asked, staring at her.

  “Mine,” Vanessa said. “Natasha and I used to work together.”

  “What about him?”

  “He’s cool,” Vanessa said, and Paul cut his eyes at her. That let me know that I would hear a different story from Paul. “The four of us have gone out a few times.”

  The deejay played Always and Forever by Heatwave.

  “My wife loves this song. My wife . . . I like the way that sounds.” Paul grabbed his wife’s hand and started to lead Vanessa to the dance floor.

  While they danced, I sat there listening to the music and couldn’t take my eyes off of her. The first thing I noticed about her was her eyes. They were exotic; wide and tilted at the corners of her small brown face. Her long, thick lashes framed them perfectly. Then my gaze moved to her berry tinted lips that looked so soft, and ready to be kissed. And we’re not even gonna talk about that body in that black and red dress that draped every curve the way I wanted my hands to. To say she was perfectly formed would have been an understatement, having high, ripe breasts, and a lush-rounded ass. Perfect. Now, if only her personality matched.

  I had to meet her.

  “She just may be the one.” I laughed out loud. Unlike Desiree; who was definitely not the one.

  After Paul and Vanessa left the dance floor, she went to talk to some people while Paul headed back toward the bridal table.

  “What’s really up with them?” I asked when he sat down.

  “Who?”

  “Natasha and whatever his name is.”

  “Him and her are cool. But I get the impression that she doesn’t like the way he treats her.”

  “How does he treat her?”

  “Like he doesn’t respect her.”

  I looked at him. He looked weak. “She looks like she is definitely more woman than he can handle.”

  “But he’s paid.”

  “What’s his name?”

  “Lloyd Parker.”

  “Sounds weak.”

  “He is weak, Victor,” Paul said, like he was stating the obvious. “But like I said, he’s paid.”

  “You think that’s what she’s all about?”

  “No, she really is cool people; and she makes good money, too. But he sets it out for her. She says most men are intimidated by her ’cause she’s so fine.”

  “That what she said?” I asked, glancing back over my shoulder to look at her.

  “She referred to herself as attractive.”

  “She is that.” I said, still looking back in her direction. Natasha was still watching me. “She got a good team, Paul, but she needs a new coach. Introduce me to her, Paul.” I started walking toward the table.

  “Slow down, man Don’t be so obvious.”

  Paul was able to slow me down long enough to introduce me to his boss Ralph, and his wife, Adrianna. In addition to working at Leimert Beckford Marketing, Ralph had a few other business interests he was pursuing. We talked awhile about me doing some freelance work for him. Ralph said it would be a couple of months before they would be ready to move. We exchanged cards, and Ralph asked me to give him a call in September. I looked at Natasha; she was still watching me. I quickly agreed, accepted his card, and promised to call in September.

  Once I got finished talking with Ralph, Paul was nowhere in sight; so I begged Vanessa to walk me over to her beautiful friend. Since she had promised a group of her coworkers that Paul had plenty of single cousins for them to dance with, she willingly agreed.

  “On one condition.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You really gotta dance with them.”

  I looked at the single ladies at the table and then at Natasha. My heart beat just that much harder. “Deal,” I agreed—because at this point, I was desperate for an excuse to get close to her— and we headed for the table.

  Not wanting to disrespect Lloyd when we got to the table, Vanessa introduced me to everybody at the table. With eyes focused on Natasha, I politely spoke to everyone, taking my eyes off her only briefly. Finally, Vanessa got to her.

  “Natasha, Lloyd, this is Paul’s cousin, Victor. Victor, this is Lloyd Parker.”

  I shook Lloyd’s hand. His handshake was as weak as I thought it would be.

  “Nice to meet you, Lloyd,” I said with my eyes still focused on Natasha.

  Once Vanessa had introduced us, Lloyd went back to talking to the man sitting next to him, so he couldn’t see the way I was looking at his woman. And more importantly, the way his woman was looking at me.

  “Victor, this is Natasha Edwards.”

  I reached for Natasha’s hand; it felt soft and warm. I bowed at the waist and kissed it. Our eyes locked and it was like the world stopped. For a second or two, it seemed that she and I were all that mattered in the world.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Natasha.”

  Her facial expression told me nothing. She squeezed my hand. Although her expression didn’t change, her light squeeze to my hand confirmed what her eyes had already told me. She let go of my hand and I felt like all the energy had just left my body. I knew then that, despite the man sitting next to her and whatever was going on with them, this woman belonged with me. I knew then that I would do whatever I had to do to make this a reality.

  I stood up straight and looked around to the other ladies at the table. “Perhaps each of you will do me the honor of dancing with me later.” And then I returned my gaze to Natasha.

  “Why wait until later,” Robin, one of the women at the table asked and got up. “This is my jam!”

  I smiled and took her hand. “Well then, let’s dance,” I said, but I didn’t stop looking at Natasha. I danced a couple of songs with Robin. She was kind of cute and she made a play, which I politely ignored, before I escorted her back to the table. When I got there, Lloyd was still deep into his conversation, and still ignoring Natasha. From where I was standing, it looked like she was only half into the conversation she was having with the woma
n sitting next to her.

  I looked at her and gestured toward the floor. She smiled like she was considering accepting my offer to dance; then Natasha cut her beautiful eyes at Lloyd and she shook her head no. As if she was saying “I would but, the only reason I’m not, is out of respect for the man I’m with.”

  I respected that.

  I did.

  It made me want her more.

  “I’m ready for my dance now, Victor,” another of the women at the table said.

  I leaned close to her. “I’m ready, too,” I said and hit the floor, because I really do love to dance.

  But when I got back to the table Natasha was gone.

  My heart began pumping hard in my chest.

  After quickly promising to come back to dance with the rest of the ladies, I excused myself and went looking for her. I didn’t know what I would say or do, but I was driven to find her. Once I came to the conclusion that she had left for the night, I set out in search of Vanessa. She knew Natasha, they were friends. She could tell me everything I wanted to know about her. I didn’t find her either; and it left me feeling empty and I couldn’t understand why. I’ve been interested in plenty of women before, and it never had me feeling like this.

  It was just then that my cousin, Sydney, walked up to me shaking her head. It was like she could see what I was feeling on my face and she was laughing at me.

  “What?”

  “You need to go get your cousins,” Sydney said.

  “Who?” I answered; happy that she was clueless about my anxiety.

  “Desana and Dior.” They were my Aunt Anita and Uncle B’s twin girls. And those two are a trip!

  “What they doing now?” I asked, because it was always something with those two.

  She grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor where a crowd had formed a circle. Sydney and I pushed our way to the front.

  Sydney pointed. “See.”

  I looked and saw Desana and Dior, our two baby cousins, twerking with some man.

  “I mean, look at them! Squatting and thrusting their hips like that.”

  Granted, Sydney is a bit of a prude, but I have to say that those two seventeen-year-olds were doing the most sexually provocative twerking I had ever seen.